saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
