He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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