his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
