Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize