Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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