He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
