he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Houston, we have a blender
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
