You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
