You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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