i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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