so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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