I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Welp...herpes.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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