I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
then he tried to convert me to islam
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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