I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize