Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
