16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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