Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
