I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
