its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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