Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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