Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
