Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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