I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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