i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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