she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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