hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
