i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
