she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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