some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
