there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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