If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
