so that wasnt chicken after all
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
