i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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