even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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