I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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