Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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