EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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