i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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