you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
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Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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