i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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