For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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