Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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