I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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