he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
