I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
