nut hugger
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
