were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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