There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
