i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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