What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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