I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
