I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize