i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize