Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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