All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
