My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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