ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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