we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
