The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
